empty & alone

awake in the stillness of the night doing battle with my mind. an ocean of why swirls around my throat and yanks through my hair, i'm drowning with unanswered questions. i reach out for help & i am alone. no one can help me out of this lonely battle with the angry waves. i long for a wave to overcome me and take me out of the struggle, but i know it will not come. i must bob in this sea of anguish until i find the shore, i fear i never will.

image: undertow tony middleton

how to say goodbye

there is no more energy in my body. my spirit is drained. I dread the night. why must goodbye exist? my heart is weeping and heavy with grief. i've only cried a little today, but that is only because i'm too tired and all out of tears. my little Rosie is gone. my hopes and dreams have evaporated into the air. now i sit here empty and alone. everything is backwards right now. my whole being resists the day and can not seem to move forward. tell me it was all just a nightmare, tell me i'll wake up and find the sunshine again. tell me it isn't reality. i can not move, and memories are the constant enemy. how does healing find me? only at the very end? when we are together again? this part of my heart will always be empty, something will always be missing. goodbye my Elizabeth Rose

images: L Gordon